Fourth Session: Cats

I am not fond of this animal.

Before the sphere had finished its diurnal rotation I was rudely awakened by what I thought was an incapacitated child mewling at my doorstep. A sort of "mu! mu! mu!" howl which sounded at once pitiful and awful. It was an unconscionably rude cacophony, so latent was the hour, that it set me to wakefulness. At once I thrust open my door, expectant of a discarded infant or some such creature but no! NO! No, what had come crawling, matted fur and bared whiskers and EYES THE COLOR OF HELL to my doorstep was a black tetrapod, a creature so garishly unwell that it had dropped its predacious meal at my feet and proceeded to hack up balls of its own hair. Aghast, I grunted at the miniature beast with a disgusted, hopeless command and it was off, prancing away as if it were invited to share my morning and had been most unsoundly dismissed.

Since this morning I have complained to my fellow residents but they are sympathetic to these "strays," "kitty-cats," as they blithely call them.

This animal is supernaturally ghoulish. Its eyes glisten at twilight, it seems to be everywhere, it makes no sound when it wishes and caterwauls when it pleases. This secretive dandy is trouble. It has claws!

I have been told that a television program in the last two decades featured an "alien life form" named Alf who enjoyed eating cats. In fact, he was so inclined to feast upon them that his adopted family had to keep him from gobbling up the neighborhood brood. HA HA! I write it as blithely as these people say "kitty cat". According to my almanac they were once worshiped by Egyptians as porters to the Underworld. What fiendish creatures...

However, there is an intriguingly edible plant called the vegetable which is grown all over the sphere in various forms. Carrots, especially, are quite spectacular.